To grow or not to grow

The sweetness of growth is in the vulnerability of change.

If we ever intend on having anything substantial in life we must be willing to change. If we ever want to look at things in a different perspective then we must be willing to open our eyes and see the changes going on around us.

If we open ourselves up to changes in life then we have less of an opportunity to be crumbled and shaken when things happen that we don't understand. We take those changes and turn them into something beautiful and mold them into greatness.

There are many changes occurring in my life right now. And I can either take them and run with them, allowing me to grow and be molded by them. Or I can choose to sit and sulk and allow the opportunities to pass and for someone else to be granted them.

I choose to run.......

Oh marriage, what was I thinking?

I have, by choice, signed myself up for a marriage class here at Olivet. Well, actually, it's a required class for my minor, but I suppose I could have tried to get out of it. At first I was really excited about what was going to bed discussed during the course, and now, well I guess I am just intrigued.

Last week we received in article during class that we were to read, and we would then discuss it later the next week. The article was called "Defending "The Cost of Delaying Marriage," by Candice Z. Watters. To keep it short and simple, the article goes in to talk about how women are delaying marriage by getting married later on in life, instead of in their early 20's, when they are fertile and still "sexy". That's me keeping it short and simple :)

I couldn't help but be baffled by this concept and the idea's that they brought up and actually believed in this article. To put a time limit on marriage, something that you hold to be a sacred commitment between a man and woman makes me laugh. If marriage is something that is so special to you, then why make women feel as if they must rush into something because their clock is running out......ding!!

Have we forgotten the most important factor of it all.....that GOD IS IN CONTROL!!! We can make ourselves available, we can shout it from the mountains "MEN WE ARE SINGLE AND LOOKING TO GET HITCHED!", but in the end it all comes down to God's timing and will. I mean I would suspect that most of us believe that God knows who we are going to marry, and I suspect that right along with that you believe only he knows when you will meet that person. So what I'm saying is that for as long as we make ourselves available, it will never be up to us or in our control. God has that person for you....whether it be when you are young and fertile, or later on in life, say you're 30's when you are in your prime :) I mean that would be a plus for any man you meet, right? :)

All I'm saying is that I can want to get married tomorrow, but if that is not God's will for myself then so be it, but don't make any women feel like she is less then any other for not being married younger! If we are to get married, we will, because God willed that!

"To love someone properly probably means that you won’t be very popular. Pure love, loving the way it was intended, is unfortunately a foreign concept to many. Love is messy. Love will involve hardship, demand patience, require forgiveness, test maturity, strain friendship, challenge priorities, refine character, ignite the heart and unleash the soul. Love is not something you sing about, it’s the reason you sing. Love is not something you write about, it’s the reason you write. Love is not something you live to find, it’s the reason that you are alive."

Mark Hart

For you open your hands......

He travels near and far
Never far from my soul
Desiring to be the in all of what consumes me

My heart is burning for words of affirmation
As my words of acclamation draw him near
My soul cries out

He yearns to fulfill my own desires
As he holds his hands out with love
His grace has no boundaries

I am entangled in the strings of his glory
As feelings of a prisoner arise
He bares down with truth

His anger is slow upon me
For how gracious is the Lord God Almighty
Quick to love with no fault

Your splendor and glory
Will flow from my mouth singing
How Great is the Lord

For you take me as I am
You daughter of this generation
Calling me forth in your name

~Lauren Ashley


"I will exalt you, my God and King, and praise your name forever and ever. I will praise you every day; yes, I will praise you forever. Great is the Lord! He is most worth of praise! No one can measure his greatness." Psalm 145:1-3

A New Chapter

The time is soon approaching when I will have to face this great wide world on my own, and it's only when I place my understanding in the peace that God will direct my path that I am ok with all of the feelings I am experiencing. I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. One day I am like a giddy school girl thinking about going out and experiencing things first hand on my own. And then the following day I quiver up with fear of all the unknowns. Decisions are needing to be made very soon, and as much as I want to have the answers right away, I know that is most important to take it to God. He will direct me and let me know where I need to go, and what direction will work best in the plan that he has for me.

In all of the going to God, it is easy to still want what I want and be selfish about it. There have been many of times where I wanted to completely go against what God was telling me to do, because selfishly I wanted to fulfill my desires and that time, and not on his. It has only been of late that I have realized that God is opening his hands and fulfilling my desires one at a time.....on HIS time. I am content in this now, because I am reminded that God would not have placed a passion or a desire in my heart if he didn't intend to fully follow through with it.

I say all of this because it sets my foundation and building blocks for having and living a fulfilling life. I want to experience the world, I want to laugh without seizing, I want to smile at the little things in life. Granted, I have been doing all of these things....but now I have been reminded of the abundance grace God has on me, and how much of life he wants me to experience. He doesn't want me to worry about anything, but to come to him and talk it out. What a mighty God we serve! A God who wants all things good for us! Amen~

side note: can we please go dancing again girls? :)

How do you make the words that flow from your mouth believable to another person? How do I make them convincible and life altering? It’s all up in there, just waiting to get poured out, but when you finally get the chance youre just in a rush and it comes out sounding like a mush of crap.

How do you let a person know that you are really sorry. You apologize and explain as thoroughly as you feel you can, that you made a mistake, but somehow you just know that they’re not going to buy it.

Why do we do and say the things we do?

We do them…..then we think about them…..and then we realize that we should have thought about them before we did them. That was our first mistake.

There comes a point after finding out that you made this mistake that YOU JUST WANT TO RUN TO THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN YOU CAN AND SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN…YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW YOURE SORRY…AND YOU DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO DO IT.

Well there’s my mumbo jumbo pile of mush for the night……I am pretty clear of the fact that it makes no sense to anyone.

If every word I said, could make you laugh……I’d talk forever!