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Monday, December 29, 2008

For you open your hands......

He travels near and far
Never far from my soul
Desiring to be the in all of what consumes me

My heart is burning for words of affirmation
As my words of acclamation draw him near
My soul cries out

He yearns to fulfill my own desires
As he holds his hands out with love
His grace has no boundaries

I am entangled in the strings of his glory
As feelings of a prisoner arise
He bares down with truth

His anger is slow upon me
For how gracious is the Lord God Almighty
Quick to love with no fault

Your splendor and glory
Will flow from my mouth singing
How Great is the Lord

For you take me as I am
You daughter of this generation
Calling me forth in your name

~Lauren Ashley

"I will exalt you, my God and King, and praise your name forever and ever. I will praise you every day; yes, I will praise you forever. Great is the Lord! He is most worth of praise! No one can measure his greatness." Psalm 145:1-3
Thursday, December 25, 2008

A New Chapter

The time is soon approaching when I will have to face this great wide world on my own, and it's only when I place my understanding in the peace that God will direct my path that I am ok with all of the feelings I am experiencing. I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. One day I am like a giddy school girl thinking about going out and experiencing things first hand on my own. And then the following day I quiver up with fear of all the unknowns. Decisions are needing to be made very soon, and as much as I want to have the answers right away, I know that is most important to take it to God. He will direct me and let me know where I need to go, and what direction will work best in the plan that he has for me.

In all of the going to God, it is easy to still want what I want and be selfish about it. There have been many of times where I wanted to completely go against what God was telling me to do, because selfishly I wanted to fulfill my desires and that time, and not on his. It has only been of late that I have realized that God is opening his hands and fulfilling my desires one at a time.....on HIS time. I am content in this now, because I am reminded that God would not have placed a passion or a desire in my heart if he didn't intend to fully follow through with it.

I say all of this because it sets my foundation and building blocks for having and living a fulfilling life. I want to experience the world, I want to laugh without seizing, I want to smile at the little things in life. Granted, I have been doing all of these things....but now I have been reminded of the abundance grace God has on me, and how much of life he wants me to experience. He doesn't want me to worry about anything, but to come to him and talk it out. What a mighty God we serve! A God who wants all things good for us! Amen~

side note: can we please go dancing again girls? :)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008

How do you make the words that flow from your mouth believable to another person? How do I make them convincible and life altering? It’s all up in there, just waiting to get poured out, but when you finally get the chance youre just in a rush and it comes out sounding like a mush of crap.

How do you let a person know that you are really sorry. You apologize and explain as thoroughly as you feel you can, that you made a mistake, but somehow you just know that they’re not going to buy it.

Why do we do and say the things we do?

We do them…..then we think about them…..and then we realize that we should have thought about them before we did them. That was our first mistake.


Well there’s my mumbo jumbo pile of mush for the night……I am pretty clear of the fact that it makes no sense to anyone.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

If every word I said, could make you laugh……I’d talk forever!

Monday, November 3, 2008

ONU Fire Women!

So, this past weekend I traveled with my gospel choir from school. We went to Reed City, Mi.....home of Yoplait yogurt! That's right haha. The host family that myself and 5 other girls stayed with were so nice...simply amazing. The husband is a volunteer firefighter, so he took us to the fire station to show us around. We were able to try on all the equipment and even go for a ride on the truck. It was really one of the neatest experiences I've been a part of. How often can you say that you've been able to try on their uniform, gas mask, or even take a ride in the truck? Here are a few pictures for your enjoyment :)

Let me leave you with some lyrics from a song we sang this's really been speaking to me lately in my life, and I hope it does the same for you.

above all
all you can ask or think
according to the power
that worketh in you

God is able to do just what he said he would do
He's gonna fullfill every promise to you
don't give up on God
cause He won't give up on you
He's able

How amazing is it to have a God that will never give up on us? That no matter how many times we run from him and don't trust him, he is trying harder then ever to move heaven and earth for us to be free?
Saturday, November 1, 2008

Halloween to remember..........

It's tradition here at school that the President of my university will open his house up to any students who would like to come on over. Let it be said that our President, Dr. Bowling is a well liked man here, and always has the insight of a genius. I feel like every time I am around him I should have a pen and pencil in my hands, just so I can write down his profound thoughts! haha!

So last night it just so happened that myself and a group of friends did not feel like dressing up for Halloween or even participating in any of the events, so we just moseyed on over to the Bowlings home. Jill his wife greeted us at the door, and let us in. It just so happened that the Bowlings had some friends in from out of town, that came in to surprise Jill for her birthday.

They asked us to sing a few songs, which we did of course. I mean, you can't exactly say no to the President and his guests. Then we sat around and talked for an hour and a half. Let me repeat hour and a half. With the President and his guests. haha! It was neat to hear about all of their old memories here at Olivet, and the memories they shared together. Bowling at one point talked about how we need to live each day focusing just on that day. We need to live life to the greatest we can possibly live it....profound I tell you....maybe not in my words, but coming out of his mouth it was like food for my soul! haha!

Needless to say it was a great night all in all, and something that I will remember for a long time. When we were making our way out Dr. Bowling spoke up and said, in these words, "I would love to do this again. Please email me and we will set up another time soon!" He loved us! haha!

So on a latter note I've decided to live each day focusing just on that day. I don't have control over what is going to happen the next day or the next, and that's not always easy to accept, not being in control of your future. But I've realized that you will never be content in life if you are always worrying about the future and where you are going to end up.
Thursday, October 30, 2008


I'm pretty certain none of the following is going to make sense to anyone, but nonetheless this is my blog and I can rant away if I would like :)

How can you be so certain of something......something you've never even experienced? But yet it plays through you like your favorite's like having your favorite cereal in the's just amazing. It's just's you and all that's around you. You can't explain it, nor would you really like to, because that would just make it all a string of messes. You want to believe that this thing you are so certain of is the right's the thing that makes the world go round.....the thing that makes you live and function as a person. This something is the in all be all of everything around you and then you go and push it away. It's like watching a train wreck happen. You see the person standing on the tracks, you're the conductor, the train is going to fast, you know you can't possibly slow down, and there it goes...the person on the tracks is your something, and you could do nothing to stop yourself from causing the accident.

There are times when I am so certain of one of my somethings that I can't possibly imagine how someone couldn't feel just as certain. How could you not hear your favorite song playing through you all day......or go through the morning with the content feeling in you like you've just experienced your favorite cereal? I am so ready for a something....a certain come in and crash my be that thrill of a roller just make my world go round.
Thursday, October 23, 2008

It all clicked......

You know those people.....the people that are loud, obnoxious, and burst open with something to say at any moment you give them. I have come in contact with a person like this recently, and it wasn't long after meeting them that I had a new realization of why they acted the way they did. We were sitting around.....said person raised their hand......was called on.....and begin the outflow of their life. The outflow of things that consumed their inner thoughts and feelings......things we were unaware of. They told of a hurt family member....a sick family member.....a dying family member...the responsibility they would soon have to live up to.
And then it all clicked! It all became clear as to why this person acted the way they do. And maybe this is all in my mind, or maybe even it's just what I want to believe, because I no longer want this person to be the loud, obnoxious, burst open with something to say at any moment you give them, person to me anymore. But how can they sit back and not burst open with how they're feeling and the hurt they've encountered......instead they try to be the funny person....the loud person.....the obnoxious person....just so they don't have to sit back and be silent with their own thoughts. Now again, this might just be my thoughts racing a mile a minute....but I would love to have this be the reason.
So now as I encounter this person I will just consume them with love and humble myself, instead of using the words I once used behind their back.
Thursday, October 2, 2008

Our movement......

At this moment I've decide that I, myself, with you, want to start a movement. Not just any movement, but an abrupt, confident, movement . Through this change I want people to see how beautiful it can be and that it makes people once again believe in change, and the power of change, the sweetness of innocence, and that one may find a reason to have hope once again. I want people to see the power of compassion, and see no room for condemnation. I want their vision to see beyond the “mess” and see the potential that really lies beneath. I want people to no longer mistake infatuation for love, but instead see the unconditional complexity that love actually is. Love is beautiful and moving; It is a commitment that should never be cheapened. I want to put real, true love back in peoples' lives. I want people to see that they have enough power in their words to move mountains, and to restore someone’s faith. I want to do something so bold that it moves someone past their seated position and into a an act of service. I want to show the beauty in humility. I envision morality being normalcy. I see people reaching for the moon instead of settling for what is at arm‘s length. I want no one to feel worthless or unloved, but special, unique, and valuable to this world. I want people to be so joyful in their own reality that they need no way of escaping. They do not need an artificial source of contentment, because they’re just that happy in themselves. I want the sound of true laughter back in our lives.

I want this movement to begin here and now in me and you. I want it to spark and then catch on like wildfire. Is it too hard to reach?! I don‘t think so. I think it's right under our noses.

I believe it’s possible.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008

It's funny to me just how much you can get accomplished in the shower....

1. You can comtemplate life
ex. Have a lot on your mind? Need to think things through but can't really find the time to do so without any interruptions....the shower is the perfect place. This is where I think about what direction I'm going in I in the right I really know everything (haha that's the normal debate)....or should I say yes or no. This is the time when I stand there for so long thinking that I realize I've just spent 15 minutes contemplating and now theres a chance that my roommate won't have any hot water.
2. You can cry without people running to console you
ex. It's always nice to have a shoulder to cry on, but sometimes you just need to cry alone, to be able to get it all out and be ok. Sometimes you just want to cry without hearing I'm sorry and are you ok.
3. You get zestfully clean
ex. There's nothing like a great smelling shampoo or conditioner to just put you in a great mood.

And once you're done you come out so fresh and clean and feel renewed after you left so much baggage and dirt in the shower......literally......The End! :)